


No Bravery

by nothingeverlost



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-31
Updated: 2013-07-31
Packaged: 2017-12-21 23:34:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/906266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nothingeverlost/pseuds/nothingeverlost
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The library isn’t usually closed on Fridays.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Bravery

**Author's Note:**

> My roommate Tori made a comment about Swan Beauty, and then challenged me. And then it turned into a full on ship.
> 
> This takes place a few months after season two’s finale. Warning: Gold is dead in this verse. He died getting Henry back. Anyone surprised that my first Swan Beauty is angst?

“That was fast, kid. Did you get your book already?” Emma wasn’t even done with her cocoa when Henry returned to the diner.

“I didn’t get it at all. The library is closed.” With a shrug Henry slid into the booth.

“It’s a Friday morning. The library is always open on Fridays. There’s storytime.” There had been so many small changes, when they’d returned from Neverland; Belle had taken her job of taking care of the town quite seriously. Not only had she protected the border, but she’d started a weekly concert in the park series, had gotten Kathryn to begin an adult literacy program, there was a softball league for both adults and children, and the library was in full swing with activities that included Friday morning storytime.

Ashley usually went to storytime with Alexandra, but she was in the diner. Weird. “Was there a note on the door? Maybe she had an errand.”

“There wasn’t a note and the lights were off. Can I have a donut?” Considering that three months ago he’d been brought back from the world where he’d been dragged to and watched his grandfather die, her kid was bouncing back well. Enough that she could leave him alone for awhile. 

“You can have cocoa, but that’s enough sugar for breakfast. Order something healthy. I’m just going to check on Belle.” She ruffled Henry’s hair as she left, never taking the ability to touch him for granted. On her way out she told Ruby to add the breakfast to her tab.

The library door was locked, just as Henry said, and there was no sign of movement in the dim interior. Fortunately Emma had a few skills, and the locks on the doors weren’t particularly strong ones. She was inside in less than a minute.

“Belle?” It was strange, not to see her walking among the books. Since Emma and the rest of the crew had returned from Neverland, Belle was almost always in the library. Too much, in Emma’s opinion, but people grieved in different ways. For Belle it seemed to be work; doing someone a favor was one rare way to lure her away from the stacks. Emma, Neal, Ruby, and even Jefferson took turns coming up with a reason they needed the brunette’s help. If that reason involved a walk in the fresh air, all the better.

“Henry was hoping you had that history of aeronautics book. Since flying in Neverland the kid’s obsessed. If he breaks a leg jumping off the roof, I’m going to tell him ‘I told you so.’” Emma made quick work of the first floor without finding any sign that Belle had been there. Since there was no way she was going down to the basement without armor and weapons, she opted for heading up the stairs instead.

Belle had insisted that Neal stay in the pink house that had been Gold’s. It was what his papa would have wanted, she’d told him, but Emma had been there. She’d seen the look in Belle’s eye, and knew that if Neal had refused the house would have stood empty. Belle had quietly moved back into the apartment above the library. The lock on her door was even less secure than the one on the downstairs doors.

“Belle, we’re going to have to talk about security at some point. It’s ridiculous how easy it is to break into this place.” It was also eerie how still the apartment was. Maybe Belle had gone out. Maybe Jefferson had called with one of his weekly ‘tea emergencies.’

Maybe Belle was curled in a ball in the corner of her bedroom, a blanket wrapped around her and the blinking of her eyes the only signal that she was awake.

“What the hell?” She’d seen Belle cry, she’d seen her blank expression as she’d stood at the graveside, but she’d never seen Belle fall apart. As much as she admired her mom, she would say that Belle was one of the strongest women she knew. Emma knelt at her side. 

“Belle, can you talk to me?” She had to repeat herself three times before Belle looked up, her eyes red but not glazed. Emma didn’t know much about crazy, that was Archie’s thing, but she didn’t see any signs of drug use. 

“I thought I heard his voice.” Her lilting accent spoken in something just above a whisper was almost ethereal. 

“Heard who?” She’d thought things were getting better. Just yesterday Belle had smiled when Emma had called David ‘dad,’ something that happened more and more often as she got used to having parents. Belle’s smile had triggered one of Emma’s own; it was hard not to smile when Belle was smiling. It was just as difficult not to be upset when Belle was shivering in the corner.

“Rumpel. I was sleeping and I thought I heard him calling me. I actually went looking for him when I woke up.” Her lips were so pale that there was no change of color when Belle bit the lower one. “For a minute I forgot. I thought I smelled the tea he used to make me.”

“When I was in the Enchanted Forest last year there were a couple of times I thought I heard Henry. I never really missed a person before that. Never let myself miss anyone.” Emma sat down, legs crossed, as close as she could get to Belle without touching. Not that she could touch Belle, with the layers of blanket wrapped around her.

“I didn’t want to hear him, I did. It was as real as I hear you now. More real. The pillow smelled like him.” Her voice shook, the blanket sliding down her shoulders a little as she wrapped her arms around herself. It was hard to tell, in the dim light, but it looked like moisture clung to her eyelashes.

“I think…”

“I was locked up. All those pills and shots… What if I really am crazy? I heard him, Emma.” There was no need for brighter light to see the tear that fell down her cheek.

“You are not crazy.” She knew Regina was trying to be a better person, but sometimes Emma wanted to ball her hand into a fist and punch her. No swords, no magic, just a good old fashioned broken nose. She’d seen the room in the hospital that had been Belle’s home. Hell, her whole world. It was almost enough to make Emma want to grab Henry and Belle and get the hell out of dodge.

Come to think of it, a road trip might be fun, just the three of them. Belle would know a hundred things about every place they stopped, Henry would ask a hundred and one questions, and Emma could just drive and listen to the banter. They could all stand a little time away from the town, in a way that had nothing to do with flying boats or magic portals.

“I couldn’t make myself leave the apartment. Not even to go down to my library. I’m scared, Emma. I’m scared and alone and I don’t know what to do.” Tears turned into sobs. A couple of years ago Emma might have panicked, but she’d lived with her mom’s alter ego, more prone to tears than Snow was, and had learned to raise a kid. It was almost natural to wrap her arms around the other woman. To hold her tight. To almost start rocking a little. “I don’t know how to be brave anymore.”

“Then you let other people be brave for you. Listen to me, Belle.” The other woman stayed curled up against Emma’s chest. Emma waited a full five minutes before pushing her away as gently as possible. “I need you to listen to me, okay?”

Belle took three shaky breaths before nodding with painful rustiness, as if her bones themselves protested movement.

“Good. Have you ever know me to lie to you?” She wanted to wipe away the tears on the other woman’s cheeks. The one time she’d seen Belle cry the tears had been dried by a handkerchief quickly. Now they just hung there, like little rivers of sorrow.

“No,” Belle whispered.

“I’m not about to start now. You’re not crazy. That’s important. You’re also not alone, and that’s more important.” Emma had been alone for too many years. Now that she was understanding what family was, she wasn’t about to let any of hers feel alone. Not the former giant or the dwarves, not her royal parents, and certainly not her… whatever the hell Belle was to her. Friend, for sure. Her son’s almost grandmother, but that was too weird to think about. She was just Belle, and she was family. “You’re not alone.”

“I feel alone, even when people are around. Like there’s a wall of glass between me and them. When I was in the basement I’d look out the window…”

“You’re not in the basement anymore. You’ll never be there again.” She’d burn the entire library down before she let that happen. She grasped Belle’s shoulder, perhaps too tight, but certainly enough that she could feel it. “There’s nothing separating us. No glass, no void. You’re not alone.”

“I don’t know how to reach out. It hurts. I want…” Belle’s blue eyes were filled with uncertainty before she shifted her gaze to the wall. She was pulling away again; Emma could almost see it happening a breath at a time. She wouldn’t let it happen.

The kiss was probably a stupid idea, but it happened without her thinking about it. Or maybe she’d been thinking about it for a while. Belle’s lips tasted of salt and vanilla, and even as she knew it was a mistake and she should both end the kiss and apologize, Emma did neither. At least the slight gasp told her that Belle wasn’t mentally pulling away and isolating herself.

“I didn’t mean to do that.” When Emma pulled away she felt like she was fifteen again and had ‘accidentally’ asked a guy to homecoming. She’d made it into a joke, and he’d gone with another girl. Belle’s friendship was more important than dating some guy had been.

Belle shook her head and was silent for a long enough time that Emma didn’t know what to think. “Belle…”

“I miss being touched. Can you just… do you mind sitting with me, for a little while? Maybe lend me a little of your bravery?” A hand creeped out of the blankets, reaching for her. Emma took it willingly.

“Anything you need.”


End file.
